Single Mum? Top Tips How To Improve a Work-Life Balance

Stressful morning as a single mum, full of tasks to do? Breakfast, getting ready for school/work, school runs, traffic. Does it sound familiar?

Being a parent is hard work, let alone being a single mum. No matter what the reason for single parenting is, the fact is still the same: you have to deal with the sh*t on your own. However, that does not mean that you have to become a super mom! Here are the 3 best tips that will help you keep yourself organized and on top of your responsibilities.

What Are The Magic Tricks For a Single Mum?

As a single mum, how many times have you wondered, how can you be a great mum, have a successful, fulfilled career? Do you sometimes have doubts, or moments when you give up? I have good news for you, there is a way to be a great mum and still be a successful professional.

1.Make Yourself Priority No.1

NO, IT IS NOT SELFISH!

In the stressful atmosphere of work and home life, finding time for yourself is critical to sustaining inner peace and balance. Moms have a nasty habit of putting their own needs last so that everyone else can be taken care of. How can you expect to take care of anyone else if you aren’t taking care of yourself? Find a time and an activity that will help you relax and refresh regularly. Meditation, reading, yoga, writing, exercise, catching up with a friend, or treating oneself is just a few suggestions.

Striking the right balance between work and home is essential for most parents. But when you are a single mum, it is even harder to achieve. When you are faced with the choice between having your nails painted or doing dishes, you cannot choose the latter, right?

I strongly recommend to you look for me time whenever you can. This is not a time management technique, but a life strategy.

Somehow you need to find some time. Once you have found it, you need to figure out how to manage it. Perhaps, making a chart of “me time” could help you and your child. Try to work around things, for example; if your child is getting up later than you, you can have time for yourself in the morning. Instead of loading the dishwasher or cleaning the house, focus on you only – read a book, exercise, listen to a podcast.

For me, mornings are the best as I have a sleepy beauty at home. So I don’t have any destructions from her in the morning, in your case it might be evening.

Determine Goals and Boundaries.

Let your work life be your work-life and your home life be your home life. A clash is sometimes unavoidable, but pays all of your attention to one at a time whenever possible. Your productivity will increase at work, and you will be a more thoughtful parent. It’s important to have a childcare provider you can trust and a work arrangement that allows you to take off time! In addition to the goals and objectives we set at work, it is important to set them at home. Making sure you are the parent you desire and living the life you desire will help you be the best parent you can be. A short-term goal might be to write memories in a journal. Or print photos for a scrapbook, while a long-term goal could be preparing for a new school year or helping your child learn a new hobby.

Communicate Openly With Your Manager.

Being open with your manager is important, even if you are a private person or become a single mother while employed. When you tell your manager about your child-related circumstances, he or she will be sympathetic and understand why you are turning down opportunities or working from home. You may not be aware of work options available to you if you share your situation with others, from your manager to HR. For instance, you may discover that your company offers reduced-rate childcare perks or flexibility in working hours.

Give Up The Guilt Of Being A Single Mum.

It is so common for mothers to be accused of “abandoning” their children when they return to work full-time. The option to be a stay-at-home mom may not be available for all women, and some women may choose to return to work rather than give up their careers. It is an admirable choice to be a working mother, not to be judged or shamed for doing so. If you feel guilty for not being with your child all the time, you must let it go. Consider the positive benefits of working with your family.

2. Morning Routine.

Being well organised, having a good working morning routine, and having a me-time can help you have a great work-life balance. A single mum with a toddler at home will have a harder time because it is hard to be well organised and productive before leaving for work. But the fact that the mom is active, stays active and follows a workout routine can help her keep her housework as well. Therefore, it is important to prioritize your tasks and complete them first.

Why Mornings Are So Powerful?

Morning routines have so much power. Straight after you wake up, you brain waves switches from delta (a deep sleep state), to theta (daydreamy state). The brain then moves to produce alpha waves when you are awake but are relaxed and not processing much information.

Theta state is an ideal time to work with your subconscious mind to visualize what you want and help your brain drive your actions forward toward achieving your vision. Also in the theta state, your thoughts are more positive than negative.

Thus, getting up in the morning before anyone else, allows you to have time for yourself in the best mental state of the day. Starting a day with a glass of water and stretches followed by a mindful meditation can set your day in the best positive way.
I recommend practising some kind of journaling. It can be gratitude or another type of journaling. The point of it is to connect with paper and pen, as our minds work differently when we use old school paper and pen than any techy device.

3. Become The Best Organised Single Mum Ever.

Organisation is something that can save your life when it comes to single parenting. Planning your meals and shopping can save a lot of time plus can save you from unwanted stress.

When you have a less busy day, let’s say it is weekend or Friday evening, just spend some time planning meals for the whole week. Have a look into your cupboards what is missing or what you are running out of and add that to the shopping list.

You need to figure out how to schedule your appointments and chores in order to make time for your kids. Yet you need to keep in mind, how it suit your needs and how can you use the extra time to do something fun. 

Sometimes you will need to sacrifice your lunch time, so you can sort something out or go to your appointment. Or perhaps, you will need to start your work later.

Below you can find some tips, that I have been using for years and that I swear by.

Reduce Your Expectations.

Most of the expectations that a single mum have for themselves, such as cooking healthy and delicious meals every day, keeping the house neat, and being the perfect single parent, are expectations we place on ourselves. Only you can demand such a high standard of yourself. It is possible to reduce unnecessary stress when you lower your expectations. When guests come over to your house, the house does not need to be spotless, especially if they bring children. Buying cookies instead of making them yourself doesn’t make you a bad mom. It is great to eat home-cooked food every day, but leftovers and takeout are great choices.

Online Shopping.

Do you spend the entire Sunday afternoon shopping for groceries? Spend one lunch break a week shopping online and use the weekends for the fun stuff. It is possible to save favorites on many supermarket websites and apps, so you don’t have to trawl through pages of choices. The delivery can be scheduled for a time that suits your schedule.

As a single mum, I highly recommend online shopping. It takes maybe up to 30 mins to place the order and you have your shopping delivered to your door. Another benefit is, you don’t have to drag your kids to shop where they are distracted and attracted at the same time with thousands of “goodies”. Nothing worse than a child that wants everything shiny and colourful in the shop. And by this way you are saving money, right?

Cooking.

Meal preparation can take a lot of your time too. What about a tray bake? Have you ever try that? If not, you are missing big time girl. Nothing simpler than chucking vegetables and meat onto one try and bake it for around 25-35 minutes. No need to stir or be by the sauce pans.

In other words, try to spend less time in the kitchen. One of the worst things you can do is to spend hours cooking meals and lunch menus for your child(ren) for the next day. If you are spending a lot of time in the kitchen, you can find it hard to concentrate on other tasks. Try to finish cooking tasks before you go to sleep, and be sure to have a list of ingredients that you need to have on hand, and a clock handy so that you can time your cooking to avoid late-night shifts.

Did You Know?

Diet can also play a part in having a perfect work-life balance. Some moms swear by fish oil, others swear by choline. Both are valuable supplements that can help improve mood, reduce stress, help with the memory and focus and give a boost to the immune system.
they are important because they come from different sources: fish oil from fish, choline from eggs. those supplements are easy to find and easy to buy. They are available at any health food store and can be purchased from online supplement stores.

Did you also know?

FOR MOMS WHO ARE ON LOW-FAT, HIGH-PROTEIN, NO-SUGAR DIETS, FINDING AN EXERCISE ROUTINE IS A CHALLENGE. AND IT IS ALSO HARD TO FIND THAT TYPE OF ROUTINE, BECAUSE GOING FOR A RUN, JOGGING, HIKING, RUNNING, STAIR-CLIMBING, STAIR-STEPPING, WOULD BE CHALLENGING.
However, IT IS A GREAT IDEA TO TRY FINDING THE EXACT TYPE OF WORKOUT, AND THEN GO FOR A WORKOUT SESSION AS A PART OF THAT ROUTINE. SO ANY FITNESS ROUTINE CAN BE DONE AS PART OF YOUR DAY. THAT COULD ALSO BE GREAT FOR MOMS WHO ARE WATCHING THEIR WEIGHT AT THE SAME TIME, AND ARE FOLLOWING A WEIGHT LOSS REGIME.

Chores Chart.

The next aspect of organisation is chores – have a list or a chart for the whole week. Don’t leave everything to the last minute or try not to cumulate everything into one day. Learn how to do small steps. One day you can do washing, another dusting or hoovering. I am a huge fun of saving time whenever it is possible; shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. Thus, I recommend to get a robot vacuum cleaner. If you are tight on budget, you can always buy a second hand one- and believe me, it saves so much time again….and your energy of course.

A Planner.

A family planner can also save your life – all events, important days etc.  Prioritize your diary. By having a daily planner, you can now schedule your duties and duties plus fun times. You can use it to write down your everyday schedule, meetings, and doctor appointments. This way you can see what you need to do and when. You can also write down your fun activities so that you have a written list of fun things that you need to do.

Make a list of what you need to do. Having a list of tasks can help you to prioritize things and be sure to finish everything before you go to bed. It can give you a visual representation of the amount of tasks that you have to do. Another way to make a list is to use bullet points in your diary. This way you can more clearly write out what you need to do. Another advantage of using a list is that you have a central reference to refer to when you need to do something.

What Are The Benefits?

• The biggest advantage of using a daily planner for a single mum is the one that we usually forget. It allows us to keep track of important events and things that need to be done.
• Having a daily planner allows you to keep track of our finances, exercise, diet, other personal needs, and to know how long each task will take. It allows you to make lists, which can be useful in making plans or to make a list of tasks to be done. It gives you the opportunity to mark important notes on that we need to do later.
• Scheduling your daily diary is a way to save time. Each task should be scheduled in your diary according to the priority of the tasks. Put on paper your priorities, such as I need to do this tomorrow, I need to do this today, I will do this tomorrow. You also need to mark the priority of each task. It’s important that you mark whether the task has been delegated to somebody else or should be done immediately. When you assign the tasks to be done immediately, make sure that you do not assign more urgent tasks than ones that are urgent.
• Finally, one of the most important aspects of using a daily planner is to plan to manage your time effectively. Remember that there are two ways of making your time effective: a) You can delay or postpone tasks that are not urgent, or b) You can do the urgent tasks first and then do the non-urgent tasks.

If you put all of these things in your daily planner, it will help you to plan more effectively. Remember that you should plan what you need to do for the day, not for each day. Put in your planning as often as needed.

Appliances.

• OMG!!iRoomba saved my life, literally. It is a bit of investment, cost between £300-£800, but I swear it does a 3/4 of my hoovering. I run roomba each day – downstairs and upstairs (only coz I have 3 sheding beasts in my house). But it is worth each penny. I am actually thinking to get another one with a mop option and keep it only for downstairs and use the old roomba upstairs.
• A slow cooker is another appliance, that I love. Although, I like trake baking, I sometimes don’t have time for it, so prefer to use the slow cooker.
• Dishwasher is a must have. and to be honest, I still can’t believe how some people don’t use it. It saves not only your time, but also the amount of water you use.

Make sure you tidy up everything each day, no dishes in the sink, no toys or clothes all over the floor. everything is put away so you wake up to a clean nice house.

Don’t hesitate to accept assistance.

Do not be afraid to ask for help. Do this out of love for your child, not weakness. You may believe that asking for help is admitting defeat, but if you continue to do everything yourself, you will exhaust yourself, which is harmful to both you and your child. You might be surprised at how many individuals are willing to assist. People that care about you may want to be more involved in your life, but they may be concerned about being invasive. Accept a helping hand from a buddy.

Take advantage of your commute to and from work.

• It’s an excellent time to answer emails on public transit, and it means you’ll be ready to work as soon as you get to the workplace.
• If you have a tablet or smartphone, you may also utilize this time to catch up on reading or watching your favorite TV show. It is important to relax and unwind after work by taking your mind off the day’s strain.
• If you live near enough to your workplace that you can run, walk, or cycle to and from it. Use this as your daily workout to save money on gym memberships and time you could be spending with friends or family in the evenings! Exercise and a good diet increase your energy and attentiveness, allowing you to perform more efficiently.
• Driving to work is a little more difficult because this is not the time to multitask! If you like to read, though, invest in some audio novels and make the most of your commute time. If you can carpool, you will not save time, but you will save money on gasoline.

Eliminate time-wasting distractions.

Being a working single mum means you value time more than anything. Be aware of how much time you spend socializing with colleagues if it affects your productivity. Limit your lunch breaks and internet usage so that you can maximize your work time. At home, make sure the time spent together is meaningful and intentional by focusing on your partner and your child rather than the phone or television.

Take away

Life isn’t fair, knows everyone. Sometimes you are thrown into the deep water, and somehow you need to swim. There are moments, you want to give up, you want to quit. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel which is worth the whole effort. You just need to believe, regardless you are a single mum or not, that you can do it. And not only that, you can do it with power, you can make your life and your children life much better if you only can. Don’t doubt in yourself, take the full responsibility for your life and create it as you want; full of joy and happiness.

Why not to check my other post on mindful work methods.